Monday, 25 January 2016

The Bachelor: 35 Thoughts Everyone Has Whilst Watching

'You get 25 women to date and that's pretty good odds that one of those women is going to be compatible with you."
Watching 'The Bachelor' has always been my guilty pleasure. Seeing 25 stunning women battling it out for the heart of one gorgeous man, is very appealing to watch! This season in particular is a must-see for me. Ben Higgins. What a hunk. Literal goals. This man is such perfection, I wish I was on the show! Needless to say, it's amusing for me to see the drama and tension evolve and in a way it makes you feel better about yourself. Hell no, would you get drunk on the first date and make a fool of yourself! Nonetheless, being a seasoned watcher for a couple years now- below are a few little nit-picking observations I have whilst watching the show. See if you agree!

Why must they all be from small towns? What do they hope to achieve by highlighting this?

How do these girls spend all this money on these sparkly dresses. There's one who's unemployed. Like erm howwww?!

She is definitely not a surgeon with those boobs!

Please please please don't eliminate the black girls early on. 

How long does it take for them to come up with these awful first impressions? *I need to stand out*

Ha....ha.....hahaha this CRINGE + QUEST TO FIND LOVE mix is such hilarious viewing material. What else can people be doing with their lives right now??! World stop please. 

The casting team obviously has an incredible time. These women are smoking!

Token drunk girl. Thank you for spicing up the night haha!

Does Ben really want someone with kids? I can really see the whole 'I don't want to be selfish and keep you away from your kids' talk happening soon. 

Okay, I'm alright! My dating life isn't this bad. If women do embarrassing shit like this, then I'm a Princess. Wait- what! He gave DRUNK GIRL a rose???!!!!

Please can that pretty blonde with a perfect job, perfect upbringing, perfect life NOT win. Us normal girls need a hero. 

How does the Bachelor remember all their names on the first night. I smell an 'ear-piece'.

Eurgh. Why aren't I a USA citizen? I would have competed for Ben's heart and won. 

How do these weekly schedules work? Surely, there must be some days off in the week. What do they all do? Does Ben come around? Where is this 'unseen footage'?

This is so dumb and pathetic. Trying to find your 'soulmate' in 3 months. No wonder they're all heartbroken. *I want a romance like that too. Please*

She has such an ugly cry.

The UK had Gavin Henson as a Bachelor a couple years ago. Yikes. And then Spencer Matthews. Yikes. You can see why it never really took off here. 

Why aren't they eating their food on those one-on-one dates?? It's getting cold!

*Quietly picking early favourites for The Bachelorette*

Wow, living for the 'next week's preview' each week. Dramaaaaaaaaa.

On a one-on-one date, the bit between the morning part of the date and the evening....where does this special chosen girl go for a complete hair, outfit and make-up change? How long does she have to get ready? Where does Ben go? So many unanswered questions. 

Token bitch girl- even if you do end up winning- do you not realise the man you're competing for is going to watch all of this back? Along with the rest of the world?

'I want to get to know all of these beautiful, extraordinary, smart women'.......Oh you forgot to add- and 'make out with each and every one of them!'

Must there be a helicopter ride AND hot tub session on every date. Puke. I mean I would personally love a date like that but still....puke. 

I DIE over the fake 'OMG how'd it go??' after a girl comes back from her solo date. Must you ask with such a forced smile?

You take me bungee jumping on a date and I will rename the show 'The Death'. No, I don't 'trust' you. I want to punch you in the face and cause a scene. 

DANGIT! Why must these bodies frolicking around in their bikinis be so perfect? I would wear my one piece, with a sarong, a hat and a jumper. Nope, not that body confident just yet!

All these sob stories..... what would mine be........?

Hah, those girls that just get stringed along and they never get a date, never get a chance to talk to him...and then in episode 6 get eliminated. Really, you didn't expect that?

Some of this kissing is so PG. What if they want tongue action? Omg if I was on this show it would be soft-core porn. 

OMG remember last season when Kaitlyn slept with Nick and people made THE BIGGEST DEAL?! Dudes seriously what century are we living in?


Chris Harrison- I have a love hate relationship with you. Why must you make everything so dramatic?! So many heart problems because of you. But would I really love 'The Bachelor' that much if it weren't for you.

Chris Harrison- what's your deal anyways. Married? 


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