Thursday, 10 February 2011

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering- Stephen Wright

I was going to go to university no matter what. That was my answer when a girl from my course shrugged her shoulders, dropped her text book and asked me in disgust why i bothered to come to university. She obviously didn't get as much excitement out of the three year experience than i did. It seemed a little odd that she was asking that question, with a couple months to spare until gradution. I couldn't help but wonder if she had asked me that question in the first year, would it have been with content, big eyed, fresh faced smiles? Now, with creases on our foreheads and drooping eyes, the excitement has gone. The funny thing was, the same girl rather unknowingly asked me a contradicting question- Did i want to do a Masters ?'. If you had asked me in the second and third year i probably would have said yes- hell for sure definitely ! Now i feel like ive been screwed over by my own inadequacy to concentrate on any further academic educational qualifications, that i cringe at the thought.

I've never been the cleverest or brightest student ever. I'm always the one who scrapes by. My educational abilities have all been cheated by my artistic freedom. A day dream a day keeps the insane away. Daydreaming keeps me sane. I think its an art form. In reality i hate to be stereotyped, but in my own little world i dream of the stereotypical green locks of land, the shimmering golden sun and the breeze weaving in and out of my hair as my white dress clashes with the deep blue of the sea. It's such a picture perfect existence- a fairytale. Why bring yourself to life in a stale lecture room when you can emerge yourself in paradise?

What is more beautiful than looking into a mirror and seeing a rainbow over your head?- Probably not the cliched pots of gold at the end, but more like the palm of your hands when you reach out and 'imagine' to touch it on either end. I dont see anything wrong with wanting to live life like a novel- why not perfect the art of living a double life. The first being your reality in these fantasies and the second, day dreaming about learning, passing and getting a job.

I think i've been inclined to these experiences since i was a child without knowing. I've always wanted to sit by the window, or sit at the end. I don't like being in the middle ( maybe from being a middle child ) because i dont want my view to be blocked. You can't blame me for working with the quirks i have. Everyone daydreams, it consumes so much of our time- but who actually really stops and thinks about it ?

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